10 ways The Great British Bake Off Final was like a hen partyPosted by Hay Brunsdon on June 7 2017.
So the GBBO is over. The cake crumbs have settled, but I’m just not quite ready to let go, to move on, to turn off the warm cosy oven that was this comforting tea time show.
And so I’ve decided to sieve out a few more baking puns by coming up with 10 ways The Great British Bake Off Final was like a hen party.
10 ways The Great British Bake Off Final was like a hen party
- Just like Frances’ cakes had to have a clear concept, every hen party must have a theme before you start planning your outfit and activities. Frances is a great ambassador for meticulous and abstract ideas, and personally I think an Afternoon Tea is pointless without a well thought out lighting concept which matches the secret design inside the scones, whilst little sugar mice crack out a short ballet performance before the tea is poured. As soon as Frances was crowned Baroness of Baking, I decided it was now acceptable to ask my boyfriend ‘what’s the concept for dinner tonight?’
- Unfortunately some ladies can go a little ‘Bridezilla’ before the hen party, and seek to control every laugh, breath and movement of her fellow hens. Kimberley easily wins the title of Bakezilla in The Great British Bake Off final. Anyone that crafts 3 different types of pastry in advance so they can take 5 minutes to look down on everyone else is a total pie-fectionist!
- Tears. Hen parties are usually rife with tears of laughter and/or sentimental tears of joy. In this case Ruby’s tears arose upon realising that her final bake looked like a poor excuse for a bit of GCSE coursework that will inevitably crumble when you try to carry it on the bus home to show mum and dad. Ruby’s face definitely fell when she heard the word “picnic”. Were we about to get to the bottom of some deep seated childhood trauma? I think she was angling for a harrowing spin off series in which Mel and Sue analyse how the lattice on Ruby’s pie represented her eternal jail of torment and misery.
- The worry of turning up in the same party frock as your fellow hens. The Great British Bake Off Final equivalent occurred when Paul dared to compare Ruby’s creations to Frances’ designs. Ruby seemed furious that her bake was compared to someone else’s – had we best remind her that’s basically been the point of the entire competition?
- Questionable fashion ideas. Mary Berry’s neon jacket collection; gaudy, garish and just waiting to be branded as ‘hen party fancy dress.’
- Hen party dares, usually when all the girls get together you can guarantee they’ll be daring each other to pinch the bum of a nearby stranger. During the Great British Bake Off final I personally hoped the loser would have to dissemble the marquee and buy Paul a slap up dinner.
- The naughty nature of a hen party is much like pretty much anything that comes out of Paul Hollywood’s mouth. My favourite quote of the Great British Bake Off final was “You were 10 minutes from perfection,” that is definitely something Paul has said after sex. More than once.
- Booze cruise. We all know Mary Berry loves a tipple or two. She even tweeted last night, ”Now that’s finished I can head off to Magaluf and get trolleyed with Delia. #GBBO‘.’ OK that’s actually a fake twitter bake off account, but it’s still worth a look.
- Hen’s love a Vintage knees up. Whilst us ladies opt for fascinator making and tea dresses, the GBBO producers journey back into the 1800’s for a long-winded history lesson.
- Unfortunate images that may need to be retouched. On any Girl’s Night Out there’s always one character that ruins the group photo – usually Drunken Dawn or Trolleyed Trish clutching one too many WKD’s. When it came to the Bake Off, it was Kimberley’s wedding cake that let the side down. Fairplay that would needed a hella lot of Instagramming before I’d have stuck that into my wedding scrapbook!
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