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Rude Food

Posted by Hay Brunsdon on February 5 2014.

Are you planning a hen party at home, before inevitably heading to your local watering-hole?  Why not cook up a few saucy soupçons of rude food to enjoy before the big night ahead?

Rude Food – line your stomach with naughty nibbles before your big night out

Warm up your guests with a welcoming glass of wine; this will relax you all faster than a sensual massage before it’s time to serve up a smorgasbord of sexy foods. The menu should include a melting pot of copious cheeky cocktails, a filling supper with curves in all the right places followed by sweet treats. Luckily most cocktails already have tantalising titles, so why not start the party with a Screaming Orgasm, before crafting the perfect Strip Tease, with a Slippery Nipple in hand?

A large Toad in the Hole will soak up some of the alcohol, before you all enjoy a manageable banana-split; providing you with that all important muscle strengthening potassium. If you don’t work off this phallic-tastic feast during your night out, why not book a Pole Dancing party for the next morning? Ok, maybe the next afternoon instead!

rude food - banansplitz

Nights in with the girls tend to supply opportune moments to chat cheekily about what happens behind closed doors when you and your man encounter an orgy of aphrodisiacs. You could all plan out the ingredients required for your next a risqué rendezvous…

Personally, I would not do a ‘Samantha’ from the Sex in the City and cover myself in sushi; only for him to arrive late and be greeted with the smell of rotting haddock.

Instead you could leave out bowls of passion-powered pomegranates; by protecting your blood vessels they help more blood rush to all the right places … hello increased sensitivity!  Pair the poms with a nerve stimulating vanilla bean ice cream to heighten those sexual sensations even more.

If these Rude Foods don’t sate your sensual appetites then it sounds like embracing Samantha Jones’ methods are more up your alley. Maybe it’s time to try out Sushi Making after all, followed by our From Miss to Mistress class.

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